My name is Collette and I am a quilter from Scotland. I have been a patchworker and quilter for over a decade and love to share what I have been making here.

Friday Funnies

No sewing photos today but some funny quotes and a poem for this Friday!  There seems to be a lack of quilting related jokes on the web but I managed to find these wee gems!


You Know you are a Quilter If........There's more Fabric in the House than Food"Fat Quarters" are not the heaviest part of your bodyYour ironing board is always set up but you never iron 
You think of your job as an interruption of your quilting 
You pet FabricPeople are always picking threads off youYou can measure a scant 1/4 by eye"Featherweight" Doesn't mean Boxer
Your "UFO's" are not from outer space
You clean up your sewing room & they think you are 

WARNINGWhen I am an old woman
I shall wear Purple
With a Red Hat which doesn't go
and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on
brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
And say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement
when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops
and press alarm bells
and run my stick along
the public railings
And make up for the
sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in
my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers
in other peoples gardens...
But maybe I ought to
practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too
shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old,
and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph


  1. Love that poem. Think I am halfway there in the strange behaviour so no one should be surprised when I hit full on old age!

  2. I can tick WAY to many of the first list and I have loved that Jenny Joseph poem for the longest time. I've always been so sensible that I like to imagine I will have an outrageous old age - probably not, but I can dream!

  3. Mmm.. that first list is scary. As for the poem - I am to grow old outrageously and I think that my children think that I have. What they don't know is that I will get worse! Di x


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